Thursday, July 01, 2004

Things are Winding up Fast
With less than a month of school left to go, things are indeed winding up pretty fast over here as my 3 years on the JET program are coming to an end.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about what stuff I’ll take home with me, what stuff I’ll leave here, etc. It is a bit frustrating though, because just at the same time I’m trying to get ride of a bunch of stuff, people around here are giving me farewell gifts.
Japan is a gift giving culture, which I’ve never really felt entirely comfortable with. Besides the fact that I always forget to bring a gift when invited to someone’s house, I feel guilty about receiving anything too nice. It’s like giving pearls to swine. I occasionally receive some very nice gifts, such as Japanese dolls or even traditional Japanese instruments, which just end up getting tossed into a pile in the mess that is my apartment.
The board of Education asked me what kind of gift I want to remember them by. I told them I didn’t need a “thing” to remember them, but something like a picture with everyone in it would be nice. But they insisted they had to get me a tangible item. So they decided to get me a “Yukata” (Japanese robe) and Japanese sandals. The past few days we’ve been looking through catalogues to pick one out. I’m skeptical that they will be able to find one in my size, but they insist if they special order it, it will be no problem.
It’s a nice idea, and kind of cool I admit, but I don’t know when I’m ever going to be able to get a chance to use it. I mean it is not like I’m going to go to the bar back home in my Yukata and Sandals, and then say to the person next to me, “Hey, did I mention I spent sometime in Japan?”
Even within Japan itself I’d feel a little strange about wearing the Yukata around, as if I was trying too hard to fit in despite the fact that I’m obviously not Japanese.

Every day now I get asked the same set of questions, which is beginning to get mildly irritating. It is like when you are a senior in High School, and when you go to church all your parents’ friends keep asking you if you’ve decided where you want to go to University, until you get so sick of that question you just want to punch the next person who asks it, but you know you can’t do that so you just smile and try and answer politely. Or when you are finishing University, and everyone keeps asking you what you are going to do next, and you get really sick of that question. That kind of feeling.
Everyday I go into school now (and I’m in a different school every day of the week), I go through the same exact conversation with everyone there. They say something like, “It won’t be much longer now until you are finished, huh? What are you going to do next?”
This question is made more frustrating by the fact that I don’t know what I am going to do next. And in fact at this point I’m not even sure what day I’m going to be leaving Japan. So whenever I’m asked about the future, I tell people I want to be Vice-President of the United States. It’s a little running joke I’ve kept going over here.
Another comment I hear often is, “We’re sure going to miss each other, won’t we?” To which I respond, “Yes, I’m going to miss you too.” And really I will miss a lot of the people around here, but it is hard to sound sincere about it when I get asked this question 10 times a day. After a while the emotion just leaves my voice when I have to respond to this, and I think I passed that mark a long time ago.
Recently some of my students, especially some of the Junior High School students, have gotten a little upset and asked me angrily why I was leaving. I explained that it wasn’t my decision, but that the JET program is limited to 3 years. Which is true. But it is perhaps a slightly misleading answer in that it implies I would have stayed longer if it was an option.
I’m not sure that I would have. I’ve had a very good experience the past 3 years, but it is probably time to go on. The job has been a lot of fun, but I have very little real responsibilities over here, and I think it is time to move onto a job where I can use my talents a bit more. Of course I’d feel a lot better about things if I knew what that next step was.
The students have also been asking a lot of questions about my successor. They asked me if he was cool, and I said yes, he’s very cool. Then they asked if he was cooler than me. I said that no one was cooler than I am. They laughed because they knew it was true. (Um, at least I think that’s why they were laughing).

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